Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
