To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I only lived at night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
