I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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