he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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