I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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