he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
