I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
