Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
