Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
