Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
