I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
