are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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