How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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