he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
