Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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