If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
