One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
