At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
