I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
