why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
