and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
