for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
