I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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