He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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