I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
