Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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