my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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