how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
