Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
