My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
