xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
