My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
