The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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