how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
