Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
