he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
