I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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