So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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