I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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