so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
