Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
