why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
there's paper in my vomit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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