david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
