How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
