Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
