I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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