I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
