Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
