you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Im part way to drunk.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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