i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
