I could have mohawked her pubes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
